A lump in your throat would be easier to deal with than the sensation I felt today. (5/25/2014) I jinxed myself and allowed negative people get to me. I started to believe there was something wrong with me because I was not like everyone else in my place.
I belong to an on-line support group for my RNY and posted that I was one of the lucky ones, that since the day the doctor told me I could eat solid foods I have been able to eat what I want. Please don't take it wrong I am not talking about amounts, but about all types of food.
People are always saying diet, I can't eat this and I can't eat that I don't look at this as a diet, but about being true to myself. I want to enjoy what I eat because I only eat so much. My stomach can only hold a small amount, so why not enjoy every bite. So far there has been nothing that has upset my stomach or made me sick. So yes I am lucky or I have an Iron clad stomach.
YES, I refuse to say pouch!!! It is my stomach.
After I posted my statement I received negative comments about how I am really not that lucky. I tried to brush them off, but to no avail. So I deleted the post, because I refuse to have any negative atmosphere around me.
Negativity brings negativity, I refuse that scope of the spectrum. So I surround myself with positivity. Why? Because it brings positivity!!
Well, with that being said that brings me back around to what happened today. The negative energy made me second guess myself and believed I must be failing this too, because I am like everyone else or I will gain the weight back or not loose the weight or stretch my stomach back out. Today I was with my daughter and she had smoked pulled pork from a friend who had left overs from his restaurant. (Let me just say I am a meat Freak!!! I would eat meat over anything else in the world.) I only had a couple of bites, I mean only a couple, the meat was actually to dry. So I stopped eating it.
Then it hit me. I felt very ill and it felt like I eat to much. I could feel it in my throat all the way to my stomach. I could not get the sickening feeling to go away. I just wanted to throw up, it would not go down and it would not come up. I tried water, tea and any liquid to make it go away. I finally gave up and laid down on the couch. That is when all hell broke loose. Gaging and throwing up just a little bit and liquid for the next 2 hours or more. Then finally the horrible sensation went away.
After I received relief I remember the nutritionist telling me to always make sure your food is moist and never dry, specially meats.
Later I was finally able to eat dinner and I stuck to my sweet, moist dark chicken meat and mushrooms off the grill.. As I enjoyed my dinner I reminded myself to keep all that negative energy away from myself and to continue to believe in myself, because I am not like anyone else, I am me and I am powerful. Because others want to fall into that trap and bring others down does not mean I have to believe them. I am rocking the journey and I will continue on my own individual pathway of success, joy and desire.
I will have my health and body back and no one is going to stop me.
As of 5/27/2014 I am a total loser of 45 lbs!