Friday, July 25, 2014

No Scale Moments

     62 pounds lighter and just over 3 months post op, I am feeling stronger every day. I find myself doing things I did not realize I did not do before. It is funny how I become a custom to doing things differently with all this weight on me compared to doing the same things when I was thinner. I guess it just comes naturally and you don't even realize you are doing it.

     Let me explain for the ones who are confused by what I am saying. I have a friend who use to say "fat people don't walk around the parks in the summer down here in Florida." I realized the other day I use to follow that rule with out even realizing it. I went to Down Town Disney the other day and had really no trouble except sweating a lot, where I use to not go because I could not breath, my body could not take the heat and my knees would just not work. It was to miserable to go there. Another thing I found that has changed for me is the movie theater. Going to the movie is suppose to be enjoyable, but I found it to be uncomfortable. I would never tell my friends no, but it was a job for me. Walking to the theater alone was a chore. Once I got into the theater I was dripping in sweat from head to toe, then to sit in the seats, well let me just say they are not built for over weight people. I could not put my arms down because there is no room and I could not put them on the arm rest because I could not put the arm rest down.

     After the movie sometimes we would go out to eat, I would always ask for a table because the booths were just as uncomfortable as the movie theater seats. I would have to squeeze in and because I am short my boobs would lay on the table top. UGH!! Sometimes I would seat at the end of the booth and turn slightly side ways so I would fit in better even though it made it difficult to eat. Don't even get me started on how people would watch to see what I ordered when the food came to the table. The stares are very hard to deal with.

     I have a very dear friend that I did most of these things with and when people would see us together the whispers would start. Due to him being a male, I would hear things like what is he doing with her, I bet when they are having sex she hurts him or crushes him and he is so cute why would he be with her. Funny thing is we are just friends and nothing more. I always played it off as if it had something to do with our age difference and some times it was just that, but most of the time it was because of my weight. We always messed with peoples heads when they would start to stare, I don't think he ever saw this as a weight issue, because he excepted me for who I am and loved me for that. I don't think he ever heard the whispers because it is not something most people hear, unless you are over weight you learn to pay attention. Don't ask me why because I really don't know how that comes about, but it does. I have excellent hearing always have all my life, so it did not help that I could hear the quietest of whispers. But I started to learn the signs so I became more in tuned with it, I guess.

     There is not one place you can go with out being laughed at or gawked  at. But I noticed that I would not go into place that had a tight squeeze because I could not make it through. If I could not find a open path way, it was not going to happen.

     I missed doing fun things and can't wait to get back to them. I can't wait to go on a zip line, go kayaking, ride the roller coaster rides again, and go shopping for fun cloths not the ugly things they make for overweight people. Sure if you have money to spend you can find nice outfits, but when you are not so wealthy the options are limited to UGLY!!

     I have had a couple of moments where I realized that I am loosing weight even though I don't see it that have put a smile on my face. For an example I could tie my shoes right in the middle of the shoe intead of off to the side, because you can't reach over your belly to reach the laces properly. The picture you see are not my shoes but I wanted to give you an idea of what I am talking about. 

      I also watched a movie with my granddaughter laying on the floor. I have not done that in years, because being over weight you just can't do that without feeling miserable. I felt like a kid again doing that.

     These things may sound simple to most people and I never thought I would experence situations like this ever in my life, but let me tell you it becomes a moment in your life you will never forget when you start to realize that you change everything you do becuase of weight. I never really realized it until now, when I started to do things like I remembered. It was an awaking experience. I am loving the No Scale Moments that are happening in my life.